Parent Vs. Parent In The Famiy Courts Means The Children Always Lose
The Family Courts are, by nature, an Adversarial System meaning
winner takes all which is the worst for children.
Adversarial Means Against
One parent vs. the other parent, in an epic battle of do or die
winner takes all literally, physically, emotionally and mentally. Please tell me what child ever benefits from this?
The famous movie Kramer vs. Kramer is a mild example of a bad divorce in The Family Courts. The vs. in the title is an abbreviation for the word versus, which essentially means against, just like any sporting event or war. The movie and title are proof of the adversarial nature of The Family Court System, but that was decades ago when people were more civilized, and generally acted decent towards each other. These days, there is no civility, it's cut-throat, back-stabbing, and completely full of lies, deceit and always trying to gain the upper hand, leveraging even children towards getting the results that any bad parent can easily utilize The Family Courts for.
These days, The Family Courts stil fall under the Civil Law but no one is acting civil in it, with all the children suffering because of it.
Good Parents Co-Parents, All Else Seek The Family Courts For Revenge
When The Family Courts say something is in the
best interest of the children, it seldom is and that's because of the true adverarial nature of The Family Court System at it's core, it's just not designed to separate families. In fact, it never was. In the history of divorce, no one ever decided to enact a system for dividing families of divorce or separation, so The Family Courts just came out of parents suing each other after divorce. We only use The Family Court System by default, the courts were suppoed to be used until they could come up with something better.
Mediation was always and still is available and if couples are reasonable enough to place Co-Parenting above their own personal needs or reasoning. Mediation and observing the civil laws of The Family Courts works for most civilized couples, who place their children as priority number one when dividing up a family.
But not everyone decides to be rational or place their children first and foremost above themselves in divorce or separation. It seems that couples are increasinly getting separated or divorced with children, the variables of the definition of couples got wider and large problems that have always been involved with divorce or separation have escalated quickly with the inequality and dysfunctionality of The Family Courts. I believe it is NOW ever so apparent that we as a society choose something better than The Family Court System, and that's what this website is about.
The Family Courts Were Used As A Threat During My Mediation
In my divorce, I personally thought the mother and I would be able to manage a Co-Parenting plan in Mediation, but I was very wrong. For Mediation to work, both parents need to have the proper attitude, one of placing the children first and one of compromise because of placing the children first. I was willing and able to Mediate, the mother was not. She openly warned that if she didn't get what she wanted in Mediation, the threat was taking me to The Family Courts, which everyone knows awards the mother basically everything no Co-Parenting necessary.
Noteworthy was the fact that I hadn't seen my daughter YET and the mother was attempting to Mediate, bartering access to our child.
"Although some agreements were established, the implementation was hindered by the very high level of conflict present." Quote from Mediator Warren Briggs Letter
The Family Courts created such a hostile environment AND gave the mother her
above the law attitude which of course escalated until I was left completely alienated from my daughter's life, and absolutely no good can come from that. Noteably, the mother DID NOT start out our separation with this attitude, it was learned as evidence in The Mother Dolly section of the Evidence page. We all know of bad divorces, but seldom do we ask why are they SO bad, but the fact is each and every bad divorce are born, fostered and empowered by The Family Court System. Adversarial behaviour is ONLY indicative of a Family Court System divorce or separation involving children.
The original purpose of court rooms makes sense for murders and offences against civility, but NOT for divorcing or separating families. It's simply not set up to do that. The Family Courts are NEVER in the best interest of the children. That's not just my opinion, but an actual fact. I easily prove it on my Evidence Page with SO much proof as to what is truly happening to the children of divorce in The Family Courts. I've even collected some tragic stories related to The Family Courts and keep them on the Research Page.
Fact is, when lawyers are involved, it only aggrevates an already incredibly volatile and vulnerable situation, and when there's children involved, it's NEVER good for the children. Divorce being a HUGE stresser on people alone is enough to break some people, let alone adding lawyers, courtrooms, incredibly long waiting time any kind of justice. Plus, the huge debt associated with divorce in The Family Courts can and has bankrupted many. Mediation couldn't be more of the polar opposite. Mediation is immediate and personalized with your own mediator who can provide the safest and most comfortable environment proper for Co-Parenting to happen, first and foremost upon divorce or separation. This, of course, is the exact polar opposite of the adversarial and unforgiving Family Court System. Oh, I'd also like to mention that Mediation is subsidized by most governments SO it's incredibly affordable.
2 Lawyers Representing Parents vs. 1 Mediator Representing Everyone
It's actually kind of insane that we are still using The Family Court System. That's why this website advocates we Abolish The Family Court System in favour of Mandatory Mediation. Simply, if you separate or divorce with children involved, there is NO option for The Family Courts. Everyone MUST use a mediator, that's the mandatory part.
Mediators are, by far, the best way to separate families. It's one person who is a neutral party to both parents and works towards a co-parenting plan for the children first and foremost with both parents considered equal until proven otherwise. This is EXTREMEMLY better than 2 lawyers battling it out over everything in a public forum in front of an unfamiliar Judge who takes approximately 5 minutes to familiarize themselves with your case.
Mandatory Mediation is NOT only the best for all couples, from mild to extreme, but also considers ALL family members, including grand-parents, relatives, special occasions, etc. The benefits are staggeringly better than The Family Courts, it's hard to imagine actually.
If we as a society eliminated The Family Courts, just imagine the civility we'd get back. Imagine bringing back the importance of family, both parents and the REAL
best interest of the children.