My Entire Separation and Divorce For The World To Witness
Easily Catagorized With Familiar Headings To Make Sense Of It All
Each page has it's own subcatagories and is broken down in laymen speak so you do not have to be a lawyer to make sense of it. There are so many facets to my Parental Alienation with so many people, organizations and laws involved, making sense of this might be a challenge, but so is The Family Court System.
The Family Court System Endorses Parental Alienation
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A family portrait from left to right with my mother, @TMDILH, my unimpressed daughter, my younger sister, her boyfriend and his huge dog, and the mother Dolores Alice Dukes on the front porch of our 150 year old matrimonial home.
Each one of these Family Court Orders took so much of a toll on me. I had NEVER been inside a courtroom before, and frankly, it did not take me long to figure out The Family Court System cannot deliver anything close to equality, justice or even sanity. In fact, I'm surprised I'm alive.
The Family Courts are a civil court meaning people involved are supposed to be civil and obey the terms of the Family Court Orders. These are not directly protected or enforced by police, but rather enforced by going back to The Family Courts. It's exactly the same if a neighbour were infringing on your property, you'd take them to court. You could call the police if they did something serious, but for the infringing, it's a Civil Court matter. The only way you to enforce a Family Court Order is to take the offending parent back through The Family Court System, the same system the person feels no obligation nor need to obey.
The Family Court System is SO backwards it's essentially the victim having to confront the agressor just to even file a Contempt of Court Motion against the bully in The Family Courts. Factor in a Restraining Order against the Non-Custodial Parent and you have a perfect storm, the Non-Custodial Parent risks legally going against a Restraining Order JUST to serve the papers to start the process. This is SO important to understanding how bad divorce in The Family Courts is because the Police will not honour Child Access denial unless you get a Judge to order Police Enforcement, which is very based on the Custodial Parent's interests, so certain people won't get one from your average Judge. Besides, who'd want the police extracting a child for visitation access? It's not the best for the child nor the Non-Custodial Parent, NONE of which is in the child's benefit. Essentially a lose-lose situation for everyone except the Custodial Parent.
This is a Motion Without Notice, meaning all this was legally done without me knowing it! I was processed into The Family Courts without my consent or knowledge, that's what Motion Without Notice means and anyone can do that to almost anyone. With this legal move the mother now becomes the Applicant in all Court papers and immediately becomes the Custodial Parent, which establishes the mother to have full custody of our child and have a Restraining Order issued against me from contacting the mother or our child!
A Restraining Order is to protect the person us asks for it, however it's easily abused in Family Court for obvious reasons.
"The Respondent, Mike Dad is restrained from molesting, annoying, or harassing the Applicant Dolores Mom and the child."
Yes, this means I'm legally not allowed to communicate with my own child. The Family Court System allows this, so it can happen to you too.
There was no motive for a Restraining Order and none needed. I had, and still have, a clean police record with no history of violence. The mother and I were together for 20 years and led a good, healthy, progressive and prosperous life in a big beautiful home.
"Notice to Mike: This order has been made without notice to you. If you want the court to change this order, you must act quickly as possible after the order comes to your attention, by serving an affidavit and a notice of motion on the other parties end by filing them together with proof of service at the court office."
This meant absolutely nothing to me. I couldn't understand this, nor could most people. This was the reality check introduction into The Family Court System for me. Others do not have to have it this bad, but it's very possible that ANY divorce or separation in The Family Court System could be EXACTLY like mine which means this could EASILY happen to you.
Let me start by saying I have NO Police Record OR history of violence. I also wanted to Mediate and was willing to do anything possible for my daughter to not be affected by our divorce, and proved it many times over in my divorce so I am not a person you'd consider to warrant a Restraining Order. But, sexist or not, the reality of The Family Courts is that all any mother has to say is she is afraid or lives in fear of the father and that's enough for an immediate Restraining Order. They warrant this by saying it's best to err on the side of caution, only at the expense of it ruins the other person's life.
The Constitution has no merit in Family Court you don't got to Family Court expecting equality. If you deserved equality and justice, parents would've have used Mediation.
Restraining Orders were orginally set in place to protect people, but the mother in my case needed no protection from me, nor did I display any characteristics to warrant it, but that's how easy and convenient and unwarranted the Restraining Orders are in divorce or separation in The Family Courts. The countless times the mother utilized the Restraining Order when leveraging our child's access to me proves it[s popularity. Even when there is no proof necessary for a Restraining Order, bad parents use the Restraining Order as leverage to ensure the decision making over the other parent, who now appears to be bad or to have done something to warrant a Restraining Order. This happens more frequently than you can imagine in The Family Court System, because it's advocated by most women's shelters like the Denise House.
Naturally, any Judge seeing a Restraining Order in place will make judgements differently than none, so it's obvious in The Family Court who will win when the playing field is un-naturally biased. I did not warrant a Restraining Order and wanted to mediate. I wanted to communicate and work out an amicable resolve, but that only happens in Mediation and the mother wanted no part of that. She called the shots throughout our entire divorce from this moment on in The Family Court System.
Also henceforth, I was on the Police radar and had to do everything according to what it might appear like to the police, regardless of how legal it was. I also now felt like a criminal, whether I'd done anything wrong or not, it felt the same.
My Second Court Order is when things got serious merely 11 days after the mother left me taking our child.
I STILL had not seen my daughter yet nor had any communication yet. In my whole daughter's life she'd never gone more than a day or two without me and now I had to fight to get this access. The mother had the nerve to demand Supervised Access. I spent equal time raising our child, and took particular offence to this. Luckily the judge saw fit to ignore her demand.
Noteworthy is the presence of a Woman's Shelter representative with the mother now in Family Court, so things got progressively worse immediately. I did not recognize the mother's eyes anymore.
"The Applicant, Dolores Mom shall have exclusive possession of the matrimonial home."
I lost the house. More accurate, I gave her the house because I wanted our daughter to continue going to school as normal, but this move cost me large, as I would only be allowed in it a few more times before never being allowed to step foot in it again. Even though I still owned it, and had to keep paying the bills towards it. That's another chapter in itself.
As I had NEVER been in a court room before and really actually was begining to despise them already.
My Third Court Order was again done without my knowledge, and less than a month after separation. I had no over-night access, and no other contact with my daughter when I'm not with her. The Restraining Order elaborated on the Matrimonial Home and School. The negative stigma my nasty divorce caused me was intention and it was huge.This is strategic in The Family Courts. Family Lawyers leverage their clients immediately with the house and custody. It renders father's like me helpless, and easily villainized.
My relationship with my daughter was hectic, vulnerable, chaotic and fragile. She had already had her opinion of me changed regardless of whether the mother intended this or not. The complete absense of me in her life during such a tramatic event, compared to having a very close relationship as a family, was obvious on her.
"The Respondent, Mike Dad is restrained from attending within 500 metres of Child's Public School."
I still had no contact in-between visits, and by now my relationship with my daughter's school had changed significantly. My life was completely upside down and even the basics were now being re-arranged.
My Fifth Family Court Order was bartered by my Lawyer and Mediator Brian Evans outside the courtroom in a discussion room with the mother's lawyer. I hired Brian because Mediators want a happy medium whereas lawyers want a win. It's comfortable, safe and easy to discuss the finer workings of a divorce or separation in private as opposed to a courtroom filled with people and a Judge who doesn't know you, yet decides important details in minutes: completely different results. Brian mediated me some of the best and well-deserved access AND rights in my divorce, however you'll note it cost me the house.
"The parties will share driving to facilitate each other's time with Child."
Noteable are many things considered to be standard for your average divorce such as Wednesdays and being flexible and cooperative towards sharing phone calls, shared driving, right of first refusal, etc only I NEVER got any of these. The mother proceeded to ignore most of this Court Order as soon as she got me out of the house. That meant for the next few years, I'd be spending countless time pursuing my rights that were completely ignored by the mother. Since I never did win them back, the mother essentially was legally entitled to ignore this entire Court Order, which means this was completely for the mother legally acquiring the matrimonial house..
"The Respondent father's access shall continue at his residence, not the matrimonial home."
The mother was only willing to grant me reasonable access in return for me never stepping foot in the matrimonial house again. I agreed, and thus, never did step foot in that big beautiful house again.
@TMDILH Finally Secures Child Access To And From Daughter's School
After months of having to deal with the mother Dolores Alice Dukes directly for my Child Access and it always being so much trouble coupled with fales allegations and so much drama from the mother, I finally secured Child Access to and from my daughter's school. This not allowed me to bypass the mother directly, it eventually would assist in documenting the mother's Parental Alienation through my daughter's school.
Respondent to pick-up the child directly from school at 3:40 p.m. during the Fridays when Child is at school. Respondent to return the child diretly to school on Monday mornings
This Family Court Order was very significant in many ways, but suffice to say, my victory was considered the mother's defeat and the escalation of Dolores Alice Dukes doing more and more drastic measures to ensure destroying my relationship with my daughter. But now I had witnesses like Principals and Teachers to legitimize my story.
By this time in my divorce, I was unable to afford my Family Court Lawyer Brian Evans and was forced to attend my Family Court appointments by myself, which doesn't always bode well for fathers, I found out. Family Court Judges almost have no time or consideration for parents who attend Family Court without lawyers because they often then have to advise the parents they're doing whatever they're doing is wrong, so it bothers them and Family Court Judges aren't often subtle in their dislike for you. It's obvious.
"The Respondent father's motions to find the Applicant mother in contempt of failing to abide by the various access orders in this proceeding are dismissed."
Yet another Contempt of Court motion denied by another Family Court Judge against Dolores Alice Dukes, much to my disappointment in Paragraph 1
Jusstice Madam Lack didn't care for me much, but did request the Office of the Children's Lawyer to represent my daughter exactly one year into my separation, which indicates the severtity of my case and the severity of dealing with Dolores Alice Dukes. I orginally asked for the OCL to get involved earlier and was denied. At least Justice Lack gave me that.
"The Office of the Children's Lawyer is hereby requested to represent the child."
On the left is my Family Court Final Order with access legally deemed to me by The Family Courts to date. I really couldn't tell you exactly how many Court Orders this has been, but it's probably around 30 or so, getting quite familiar with a few Judges over the years and even saw my old Court House be replaced with a huge new one in Oshawa.
The Family Court final access is a nightmare of conditions that do not benefit our child in any way and is basically word for word the conditions the mother wanted from the start. Relentlessly, I couldn't fight her any more and left before this court case finished, as I had to get to work or risk losing yet another job. The verdict would've been the same whether I stayed or not, the mother conned her way into getting a lawyer for free, and I couldn't afford one.
What I was left was a measely and less-than-standard rights and access to our child after over 7 years, over $60,000 spent and about the same in lost wages, lost jobs, etc. Then there's all the lost access, more than I ever got. This is also after the mother earning 8 Contempt of Court charges against her and I had none. She never recieved any punishment, fine, or imprisonment which is what Contempt of Court charges are punishable by. I however, would be sure to land in jail if I were even close to breaching a Family Court Order, so I never did.
Noteable are the many things again that I NEVER got like March Break or summer holidays. Never. I never got a phone call nor were ever allowed to talk to my daughter. I'm actually proably STILL not allowed to know her address because of the multiple restraining orders the mother has used against me from the beginning, and all unwarranted.
"The only exceptions are on December 25 and 26 when the access exchanges shall take place at the Durham Regioinal Police Station."