Based On: The Al.com Article
Connie Foster Was Doting Mother Who Took Extreme Route Of Murder/Suicide
This is a sad and tragic event attributed to The Family Court System posted from Alabama but very relevant to my story and this website. The details are already quite disturbing and yet another divorce in The Family Court System that goes horribly wrong, quickly. The mother, seemingly with no hint whatsoever of such behaviour, kills her children and self a month before a Family Court appearance to negotiate Custody of the children.
Similarly, as with both in the above story and my own divorce, when things change in The Family Courts, things don't always go well. Seemingly this is another similar story of the mother not willing to accept anything less than Sole Custody in her divorce. Also similar is the quick action to take away the children from the father, this being the extreme case of it.
I did some searching into this story recently and found a religious element plays into it heavier than expected. Connie was Mormon and David House, her ex-husband and father of the two children, was not. The religious factor strained the mother's beliefs to the point that Connie Henriksen Foster believed her and her children were better off dead than to be shared with the father.
Since it's a Sole Custody battle, killing the children over allowing them access to the father seems extremely rash and quite disturbing, but in The Adversarial environment of The Family Court System, this kind of extreme thinking is created, enabled, fostered AND rewarded generously and early. Sharing is not. Winning is Sole Custody and with her court date a month away, she must not have believed she would get it. That fate was worst than death to her. The Family Court System is not meant to deal with such religious extremism, but a Mediator is. A Mediator would've been able to negotiate a Co-Parenting plan that could even accomodate Connie Henriksen Foster, and those children would be alive today.
"In addition, she (the mother) asked that House be found in criminal contempt of their custody agreement for failing to take the children to church during his week with them and for failing to ensure that they completed their homework."
Click To See The AL.com Wews Article About The House Children
Again, The Case Similarities To Mine Are Eerie
Divorce is ranked the second worst stresser in our lives compared to a death of a loved one ANDthere's still the taboo that we don't talk about our personal lives, and there's really nothing more personal than divorce. Yet divorce in The Family Courts is completely and utterly impersonal. It puts your entire life, character, character flaws, marraiage, marriage flaws, parenting and parenting flaws on display and in front of a live audience AND a Judge you don't know nor knows you. The Family Court System takes your personal life and exposes all the ugliness for the public to see, which of course renders some unique and most unpleasant results, none of which are EVER in the children's best interest.
"Court records show that Foster and her ex-husband, David House, were due in court July 11 for a trial in their fight over custody of their children."
Click To See The AL.com News Website Article
Note the next court date was over a month away. That kind of time waiting is very typical.
Dynamic Custody Access Shifts In The Family Courts Are Seldom Good
When I attended the DADS of Durham divorced dads group almost immediately after my separation, they taught me of the pitfalls of The Family Courts including the warning of when the alienated parent begins to
win in The Family Courts. It often goes horribly wrong from there, they said in their experiences and it's evident in this story, almost too precisely to be wrong.
Custodial Parent rights and liberties are so vast and almost above the law, to get anything less when spoiled with so much must be devastating. But again, just as devastating as the average father experiences in The Family Court System. The loss is life-changing. It messes with your mind, body and soul, essentially at the core of the person and their morals, principals and ethics. If you believe as a parent that your right is to protect your child at any cost, that's when the trouble starts. The Family Courts will distortedly reward that behavior with the Custodial Parent title or not with the Non-Custodial title. It's that cut and dry. It's also in THE worst possible interest of the children, proving FATAL at tiimes.
Mandatory Mediation makes so much sense compared to The Family Courts, so why are we still using The Family Court System?